You want me to do what?
I start my leadership and development engagements, one-on-one coaching sessions, and practically every meeting that I’m leading these days with a presencing exercise.
It is a few moments of conscious breathwork to support leaders to shift from the myriad of things that they are constantly working on and thinking about to being totally present for the next couple minutes, and subsequently the rest of our time, together.
The reactions I get to this are priceless. Some people have a visible look of disdain. I can imagine the inner dialogue going something like, “She wants me to do what?! This is not what I signed up for.”
Others have a look of excitement. They quickly begin to settle into their seats and close their eyes, seeming waiting their whole life for this invitation to pause.
And it is an invitation. I always offer alternatives for those who just flat out don’t want to do it. A choose-your-own-mindfulness-adventure if you will. For example, perhaps standing up and stretching would feel more welcoming for you, or just committing to sit still for a moment and stop multitasking is a good first step. That’s fine with me - I welcome everyone to start where they are willing.
As leaders, we are constantly thinking about and working on so many tasks at once.
We are often consumed by the myth of multitasking. For many leaders, asking them to be present and focused for a couple minutes, let alone during a 60+ minute leadership and development session, seems inaccessible if not downright audacious.
But if multitasking is a myth, why are we all doing it?
According to the NeuroLeadership Institute, “In the 1990s, as technology made workplace multitasking more feasible, it began cropping up in resumes and job descriptions as a sought-after skill. But the term itself is a misnomer: The human brain is actually incapable of completing more than one cognitive task at a time. Instead, it rapidly switches back and forth among competing tasks, resulting in what’s known as a ‘switch cost,’ a delay that happens when the brain stores information related to an abandoned task and redirects its attention to a new one. Numerous studies have shown people almost always take longer to complete a task and make more errors when switching tasks than when they focus on a single task at a time.”
Since multitasking is in a sense ingrained in our leadership culture, multiplied by the weight of everything a leader is responsible for and impacted by today, changing this habit won’t happen unless a leader is willing to make the decision to change, and it likely won’t occur overnight.
In 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth John Maxwell puts it like this, “You will never change your life until you change something you do daily. That means developing great habits. Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments, and that bridge must be crossed every day. Over time that daily crossing becomes a habit. And ultimately, people do not decide their future; they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.”
You can start by following these steps to become present:
Choose what task you are going to focus on.
Close or turn off anything that may distract you (like Slack notifications, a phone ringer, your email, even turn your phone so that they screen is facing down, or better yet, put it out of sight so your temptation to look at it is reduced).
Settle into your seat with an upright posture and your feet firmly planted on the floor.
Close your eyes or gaze down softly at the desk in front of you.
Begin to notice the rhythmic pattern of your breath. If helpful, you can put your hand on your lower ribcage to notice how your belly rises and expands as you breathe in, and releases and relaxes as you breathe out. Do this for 2-3 rounds of breath.
Move into a 4x4 breathing exercise by inhaling and exhaling for 4 seconds, 4 times.
Allow your normal, rhythmic breath to return.
Keeping your eyes closed if they are, feel into where you have some tension in your body and then move into that space (for example, maybe it would feel really good to roll your shoulders back or stretch your arms out to the side or overhead for a good morning stretch).
When you’re ready, looking down at the desk in front of you, begin to blink your eyes open and closed several times as you acclimate to the world around you. Notice how you feel.
With your renewed focus, work on the task you chose at the beginning of this exercise.
Are you willing to do the presencing exercise and focus on one task for one hour today and notice what happens?
For example, did you notice resistance? Was the lure of your phone too much to resist? Did you find it liberating and that the hour was super productive?
Changing your habits starts with one action. Start today and see what happens.
👋 Hi! I’m Nicole Bliss. I support high-performing executives & teams to become conscious leaders who create purposeful change.
✨ Are you a senior woman leader in ad tech, ready to redefine how you lead for greater influence and impact? Now is your chance to join my Conscious Leadership Cohorts for Senior Women Leaders in Ad Tech beginning May 28th! ✨
Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash
